Better Connection With Your Pet

Do you want a better connection with your pet? Do you want to understand your pet's good/bad behavior? Would you like to encourage your pet to do more appropriate and less inappropriate behavior? Here is a guest author who can answer these questions. We have known Ashara for over 25 years and highly recommend her intuitive, compassionate animal work.

It's all About L-O-V-E(™)

by Ashara Morris

We make a lot of assumptions with our pets. Let's stop, take a breath, and look at a behavior or situation from the perspective of L-O-V-E(™). By doing this, you will be more present to the problem and will consider alternatives to the usual "Buddy is a pain in the neck" thought process — although you may think that, too, before you get started! I know I have, more than once. And even with all my practicing, I still have to stop myself now and then and reflect on L-O-V-E(™). It takes time to really get the concept into your bones. This short overview will give you an idea, using the behavior of peeing on the floor, of how this system can work for you.

Let Go of Judgments and Demands

When Fluffy pees on the floor for the 3rd day in a row, you start to get really frustrated. Again??? WHY is Fluffy doing this? Is she just being difficult? This is such an inconvenience, I think I should just put her in the back yard and not let her in any more. She needs to be punished!

These thoughts may be a direct reflection of how we look at ourselves when we "mess up". "I'm so stupid. My boss is going to fire me (put me in the back yard). I need to be punished for not being on top of this." But wait. Let's look at this from the perspective of L-O-V-E(™).

Take a breath

First off, take a step back, and take a breath. Clean up the mess, and while you’re doing that, breathe into it. Start reflecting on what it is that is pushing your buttons. And then start employing the system. Remember that it may take more than a day to get all the input you need.

L—Listen

Listen to your animal. You can do this two ways, and I recommend you do both. Before your pet messes on the floor, is s/he whining, meowing, purring? Look for physical noises. He may be trying to tell you in whatever way is open to him that all is not well in his world.

O—Observe

What is your pet doing before the peeing occurs? You may need to reflect back more than just a few minutes. Is she restless? Lackluster? Coming to you with a "help me" look on her face, and maybe you asked her to wait a minute and that was too long. (This has happened to me. Our Malamute Niko forgets to ask to go out until past the point of being able to hold it. When he asks to go outside, he means NOW. I made the mistake of asking him to wait one day, and then took too long getting to the door—probably 5-10 minutes, which in his world is a lifetime. I cleaned up the mess in the living room knowing I had not Listened or Observed well enough.)

V—Value

Once you've listened and observed, Value what your pet is telling you. You may not agree with the assessment (like me and Niko, when my assessment was "you can wait a few minutes" and his was "well, not really."), but you need to value it. Our pets are honest; if we remain trustworthy, they will open their hearts and tell us what is on their minds and hearts, in the best way they can. We need to appreciate and value their effort.

E—Expand

How can we solve the problem? In the case of Niko, I have become more cognizant of his behaviors when he has to go out, and I respond to them more quickly, even if it's an inconvenience. I know he is not intentionally trying to make my life difficult. In fact, he is trying to make it easier, by not asking every half hour to go outside. So he holds it as long as he can, and then he asks. The least I can do is get on the ball and let him out. Another thing we’ve done is let him out BEFORE he asks—he loves to be outside anyway, and to him, it's a bonus to be allowed outside to run around when he hasn't specifically asked—we're respecting and honoring his need to be outside and run, and he helps us by being much more obvious when he really needs to go out NOW.

Now, Practice This Concept

Practice L-O-V-E(™) with one of your pets. If there is a behavior you want to work on, focus your attention and L-O-V-E(™) on the pet around that behavior. Listen to their voices; Observe their behavior; Value the information you're being given; and then Expand into a solution.

In Conclusion, using L-O-V-E(™) as an entry into your pet's world helps you to still your own preconceptions, get curious, and embrace what your pet is truly trying to tell you. This will help you with stillness in your mind and the curiosity we all need to be effective Pet Parents.

If you want to know more about the L-O-V-E(™) system and how it works, contact the author, Ashara Morris, at ashara@harmonysheartcoaching.com. Ashara Morris is a certified EGC Method(®) coach and powerful animal communicator. Along with her husband, dog, cats and equine healing herd, she lives and works amongst the pine trees and wildlife near Elizabeth, Colorado. Visit HarmonysHeartAnimals.com for more information about workshops, training programs and private sessions.

We wonder if this works with children too?